SBI Model
From Entrepreneur to Employee: A New Chapter
Before joining the corporate world, I was an entrepreneur for many years. I ran a successful small business, traveling internationally to source products, manage partnerships, and grow the brand. It was an exhilarating ride, but it was also exhausting.
After I became a mom, I resented the international trips. I wanted a slower pace to focus on my family. Then, within a span of just a few years, I lost my grandmother, brother, uncle, and mother. The grief was a permanent shift. I no longer had the same enthusiasm for the business I had once poured my soul into. I sold my business and took time off. But within a year, I was restless. Staying at home didn’t feel like me. I wasn’t ready to dive into another entrepreneurial venture, so I decided to work for someone else.
When I transitioned to corporate life, I brought the same Type A energy that fueled my business success. I thrived on juggling priorities, moving at lightning speed, and delivering exceptional results. To me, the requirements of my corporate role felt not just manageable—they felt easy.
I took a job in Talent Development, a natural fit since I’d created systems and trainings for my employees as a business owner. I approached the role like running my own business, channeling my enthusiasm into making a difference. My leaders often praised my work.
Meeting Ann
A few years into the role, my boss moved to another department, so I got a new leader—let’s call her Ann. Ann was confident, poised, and polished, with a warm smile and a charisma that made people gravitate toward her. I admired her immediately.
In our first meeting, she asked the team, “Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn’t find on LinkedIn.”
It was a thoughtful question, and as others shared their answers, I scrambled to find the perfect response. I wanted to say something about my love for working hard and my passion for going the extra mile, but I wasn’t sure how it’d come across.
When my turn came, I said, “I’m a pretty big nerd. I’m really into TED Talks and podcasts. I’d love to start a leadership podcast here at the company.”
Ann smiled warmly. I felt seen. She even followed up by sharing a questionnaire titled “How I Like to Be Managed” to better understand our preferences and working styles. Her leadership style seemed promising, but my relationship with Ann would soon take a turn I didn’t expect.
The Shift: High Standards vs. Team Dynamics
As an employee, I upheld the same high standards that had served me well as an entrepreneur. I prided myself on going above and beyond—not to show off, but to deliver for my customers. Now, I considered my boss and team members my customers.
But Ann didn’t seem to value my way of working.
During a one-on-one, she introduced the SBI model—a feedback framework that stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. I was intrigued. She said it was a valuable tool to help improve work relationships.
“My aim is to create a strong leadership culture and feedback culture here,” Ann said. “Feedback is a gift because it helps us see blind spots we may not have otherwise known. The way to use it,” she continued, “is to focus on what a person is doing and how their behavior may impact others.”
Then she said, “I want to share some feedback with you. I see you as a perfectionist, and that gets in your way because your aim is to do everything exceedingly well. It also hinders the team because it makes others feel like they don’t need to try as hard.”
Her words felt sharp and insulting. Was this supposed to be a gift?
“I only need you to deliver 90%,” she said. “You don’t need to aim for 100%.”
For the first time in my professional life, I felt deflated. My high standards, which I had always viewed as a strength, were now being framed as a problem.
When Feedback Goes Wrong
Ann’s feedback wasn’t just a blow to my confidence—it felt like a rejection of who I was. Here’s why it failed:
- It Was Vague
Ann may have thought she was being specific but identifying me as a perfectionist didn’t offer any context about where I was overdelivering and where I needed to pull back. I wasn’t sure what she meant by 90%. How was I to interpret what projects would be okay to skimp on and which ones needed to be error-proof? - It Lacked Empathy
I had been impressed with Ann early on but now I was irritated. Calling me a perfectionist felt dismissive. I felt that Ann lacked empathy because she hadn’t bothered to understand why I worked the way I did. I wasn’t looking for recognition or advancement. My drive to overdeliver was partly a coping mechanism for grief. Work felt like a welcome distraction from the pain of the close family members I had lost.
It Failed to Celebrate My Strengths
Instead of acknowledging my contributions, the feedback zeroed in on a perceived negative. Calling someone a perfectionist without recognizing their ability to consistently deliver exceptional results can feel like an insult. Ann was always in critiqued mode, and I began to feel angst whenever I had to meet with her. “Can I give you some feedback” was the way she’d start many of our conversations. I began to see the SBI model as her way of complaining about Some Basic Issue.
- It Lacked Collaboration
Feedback should open the door for dialogue. Ann could have involved me in finding solutions. For instance, instead of calling me out as a perfectionist, she could have asked, “How can we ensure your high standards inspire others without overwhelming them?” Instead, her feedback was always a one-sided critique.
What Leaders Need to Know About High Performers
High performers, like anyone else, want to feel valued and understood. But they also require a different kind of leadership. Here’s what leaders must keep in mind:
- High Performers Need Autonomy
Give them the freedom to tackle challenges their way. Micromanaging or imposing limits can stifle their enthusiasm and creativity. - Feedback Should Be Constructive, Not Diminishing
Frame feedback in a way that highlights strengths while addressing areas for growth. - Example: “Your high standards are inspiring, but let’s explore ways to share the workload so others feel equally involved.”
- Understand the Stakes
When leaders criticize high performers without empathy, they risk losing them entirely. High achievers thrive on purpose and recognition. If they feel undervalued, they’ll likely disengage—or leave. - Perspective Matters
Take the time to understand what drives your team members. Whether it’s ambition, passion, or something deeper like grief, context matters.
Final Thoughts
The SBI model is a valuable tool when used thoughtfully, but it’s not foolproof. Feedback, no matter how structured, requires perspective. As a leader, your words have the power to inspire or deflate—and the difference often lies in how you deliver them.
Had Ann taken the time to understand my motivations and strengths, her feedback could have empowered me instead of leaving me feeling deflated and unseen.
If you’re a leader, remember: managing high performers is about channeling their enthusiasm, not stifling it. Feedback isn’t a gift if it’s hurtful. Your aim is to correct behavior while building trust and inspiring growth. The goal of great leaders is to recognize and celebrate the unique contributions of each individual.
